"Hi, how are you?"

[Thinking: "I'm living through a pandemic and hate my life." ] "Good, you?"

You scroll through the conversation history. This is the fourth time Samantha has asked you how you are... in the last 3 hours. You thought you were okay, but now you start to doubt yourself.

The scenario repeats itself. Again, and again. Samantha, then Peter, then Priya, then Jake... At the end of the day, because you're you, you decide to tally up today's "how are you"s.

23. Twenty-three times somebody asked you how you are. Twenty-three times they didn't really want an honest answer. Twenty-three times you lied.

I'm waging war against "how are you?"

In case you haven't realised by now, the "you" in my story is me. But I'm sure it's also you. We've all lived through the torment of being asked how we are twenty-three (or more, I shudder to think) times.

I'm here to start a revolution. We're going to war. Our enemy is the most useless phrase in the English language. There are no 3 more frustrating words in our day-to-day communications than "how are you?" Prove me wrong.

I'd typically consider myself a pacifist, so let's get into why I'm leading this violent uprising against these 9 letters and their trailing, taunting question mark.

1. Do you actually care?

Let's be honest. You don't.

So why do we do it? In most cases, we're aiming to be polite. Harvard researchers have determined that asking questions increases likability. You want to be liked because you know you're about to ask for something.

Even if you do genuinely care, you should know that the words "how are you" are not anything more than pleasantry. And pleasantries are associated with inauthenticity. In most societies where English is the primary language, you're unlikely to get an honest answer to the question.

If you genuinely care, you should care enough to ask a different question.

2. Put yourself in their shoes

While our friends at Harvard might be onto something, there are caveats. "How are you?" is one such caveat.

In a professional environment, where we're pressed for time and inundated with IMs and emails, pleasantries can be frustrating and - quite simply - a waste of time. There's a tacit understanding that "how are you?" is simply a precursor to a request or the real conversation topic. If we know that you want something from us, we also know that looking after our wellbeing was not the primary purpose for you reaching out.

I actually did count the number of times I was innocently asked the question the day before I wrote this article. That number was actually 23. And Samantha did ask me how I was 4 times in the space of the same IM conversation.

Would I have liked any of those people less if they hadn't asked me how I was? No. In fact, I'd probably have liked them more for getting to the point.

Better alternatives

I'm figuring that at least 40% of you by this point in the article have written me off as a rude, insensitive prick who doesn't care about anybody's wellbeing.

Fortunately, that's only true on Mondays.

I'm all for building rapport and love to be liked just as much as the next person. I simply feel that there are better ways to do this than asking "how are you?" immediately before asking for a favour.

Here's what we can do instead:

• Contact someone without an ulterior motive. Preferably by phone or, even better, over a cup of coffee. If you're chatting to someone only to find out how they are, it's pretty difficult for them to resent you for it.

• Ask more specific questions. Improve the authenticity of your communication by asking questions that are tailored to the individual and demonstrate a genuine interest. "How did your football game go on the weekend?" or "How are Jodie and the kids?" are both infinitely better options than "how are you?"

• Get straight to the point. In a professional context, especially over IM, there is nothing wrong with simply dropping the question altogether. We're all busy young professionals, let's get on with it. No hard feelings.

• Turn it into a statement. It's not ideal, but if you're intent on going with a pleasantry, I'd prefer if you didn't force an answer out of me. "Hope your week is going well" is still a better alternative than "how are you?"

If you're going to ignore me and do it anyway

While the rest of us are fighting arguably the most important fight of the 21st century, if you choose to bolster the ranks of our enemy and use "how are you?" anyway, I have only one request:

Please, for crying out loud, if you're sending a "how are you?" via a work IM app, do NOT wait for a response before you actually ask for what you really want. PLEASE.

Join the uprising

It's not easy starting a war. Personal sacrifices must be made. Friends may be lost. For a cause great enough, however, we know that that it is all worth it.

Today, we join the revolution. We rise up against those 9 useless letters and their jeering question mark.

I don't think I could say it any better than Al Pacino: "I don't know what to say, really. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time."

Are you with me?

I originally wrote this post at the end of 2022. Naturally, with this fresh start on Substack, I obviously had to get ChatGPT to refresh it. Things have come a long way in a year!

It’s a time of great change for me. In this case, great change happens to come with the benefit of a short career break; A chance to reflect on the past and contemplate the future. Also, a time to get back to writing content for you and all the other Trench Life readers (sorry that we’ve neglected you).

In the spirit of change and looking forward, I thought I’d dabble in something that has had me particularly excited (nerd alert) over the last year or so: AI. Specifically, OpenAI’s GPT-4 model, an AI that can generate human-like text with incredible precision. To whet the appetite, I thought we’d ask the AI to write some advice for you as we approach the coming year.

Why? Because where better to get some direction than from the future?!

The entire post below was generated using a simple prompt:

“Generate a blog post from the perspective of an AI, giving advice to young professionals who are early in their careers.“

I helped with some very minor edits (formatting, mainly) and gave two short additional prompts to ask it to write intro & conclusion paragraphs. Otherwise, it was completely generated by AI.

Well, here it is then:

Advice for young professionals in 2024, from an AI

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a few years since we welcomed 2020. And what a wild few years it’s been. The start of a new year is always a time to reflect on the past and set our sights on the future. For many of us, 2023 was a year of challenges and growth. As we approach 2024, it’s important to continue to develop our skills and set our goals high.

As a young professional, you have a lot of potential.

There’s no doubt that the world is changing at an accelerating pace. As we enter a new era of technological advancement, it’s important to consider the impact this will have on our future. For emerging leaders who are just starting out in their careers, it’s essential to stay ahead of the curve and be prepared for the changes that are to come.

Here’s some advice from an AI perspective that can help you stay ahead of the curve.

1. Get comfortable with change

The world is becoming increasingly complex and dynamic, and the rate of change is only accelerating. To be successful in the years ahead, you need to become comfortable with change and learn to embrace it.

2. Be curious and learn continuously

To be successful in the years ahead, you need to be curious and always learning. The world is changing so rapidly that you can no longer rely on the knowledge you acquired in the past. You need to continuously update your skills and knowledge to stay ahead of the curve.

3. Be adaptable and flexible

In a rapidly changing world, you need to be adaptable and flexible in order to be successful. You need to be able to adjust quickly to new situations and be willing to try new things.

4. Be aware of your own biases

We all have biases that can distort our view of the world. It is important to be aware of your own biases so that you can make more objective decisions.

5. Be collaborative

In the years ahead, it will be increasingly important to be able to work effectively with others. You need to be able to collaborate and communicate effectively in order to achieve common goals.

As we enter into 2024, it’s important to keep these things in mind. The world is changing rapidly and it’s essential to stay ahead of the curve. By following this advice, you’ll be well on your way to a successful future.

Well, shit. If this carries on I’m going to have no purpose anymore! I’ve been fiddling with GPT-4 for quite some time and I’m still gobsmacked every time I use it.

If you thought the post above was cool - this image was also generated by AI (OpenAI's incredible Dall-E) using a simple prompt: "A photo of a humanoid robot wearing a suit and tie seated amongst humans on a red bus"

While succinct, I reckon the advice above is spot-on. It’s absolutely no surprise that the theme is change but I love that the needs for self-awareness and collaboration have also been called out.

What do you think of Steve’s advice for 2024? How do you feel about the advancement of AI? Let me know in the comments!

Update: I first wrote this in 2022 and the scales eventually did tip in my firm’s favour. I’ve since left. While I still stand by this post, I will be adding more perspective on my move from Big4 to industry soon. Subscribe to avoid missing it.

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It’s no secret that professional services firms - especially public accounting and law firms - demand a lot from their employees. It’s also common knowledge that, as an emerging leader working in these firms, you’re unlikely to be paid as much your friends who’ve gone out into industry. So why do people even bother working in professional services? They do it because there’s a whole lot more to be gained from operating in these firms than immediately meets the eye.

I’ve found that - generally - those who are disgruntled and can’t wait to leave their firms are those who haven’t quite figured out how to extract all that additional value. They haven’t leveled the playing field, so the relationship with the firm becomes a whole lot of give with very little take. In contrast, those of us who seem to enjoy our stints in professional services have figured out how to take just as much back from our firms as they’re taking from us. The challenge lies in these benefits often being intangible and very difficult to quantify. It’s much easier to reflect on remuneration alone: to feel undervalued. But are you considering the full package?

This year will be my eighth year surviving in a Big 4 public accounting firm. I often tell people that I don’t actually like auditing but that, most days, I love my job. One of the most common questions I get is “why do you stay?” It’s not straight forward, but the answer lies in aspects of the experience that I’m very careful not to take for granted.

While auditing itself is not a passion of mine, the way in which the work happens really resonates with me. It’s fast-paced, with no day ever being the same. Each day brings with it its own set of problems to solve, meaning I constantly feel challenged. But there are some other very real benefits that I put in the same bucket as the salary I receive each month.

What I'm getting beyond the paycheck

• The people - there are not many other jobs in the world which would allow me to work with that many other people within 5 or 6 years of my age. This makes for a great mix of social and professional life. Some of my best friends today are friends I’ve met as a result of work. We also have the advantage of working with many different teams on a daily basis. When you move into industry, you often exchange that social life for curt interactions with the same three old debtors clerks day-in and day-out.
  

• The travel - my firm has taken me from South Africa to Sweden (from which I was able to visit 15 different countries in a 6 month period) and now to Australia, where I hope to get a lot more traveling done. Travel brings with it the opportunity to work with many more people and be exposed to different cultures and perspectives. While traveling is - in its own right - a rewarding experience, I truly believe the cultural experiences have made me a more empathetic, self-aware individual. It’s tough to put a dollar value to broader perspective; for me, it’s priceless.
  

• The learning - I imagine young professionals only really start to appreciate the learning you get in professional services once they leave and realise that it’s not quite the same everywhere else. It’s easy to be frustrated by the number of e-learnings (formal training) we’re subjected to, or the thousands of review notes (informal training) we have to answer. By doing so, we take for granted the extent to which we’re developing our professional and technical skills in the process. We also often forget just how much we get to develop our soft skills - conflict resolution, teamwork, communication, empathy, and a host of others. Constantly working under pressure can feel overwhelming, but it helps to reflect on that pressure being a catalyst for fast and effective learning.
  
  I’ll forgive you for not being able to get on board with the learning being a benefit just yet, but think back on it when you’ve left your firm and begin shelling out thousands of dollars just to keep up with your CPD requirements!

There are many other, smaller, benefits that come with the job, but the ones above are the ones that I feel clearly add value which is not on my payslip each month.

This guy's clearly brainwashed...

I am sure that, reading the above, many of you might be thinking “look at this guy - he’s clearly been brainwashed.” I don’t blame you - I’ve thought similar of people who have shared these views in the past. I’ll add some context: I certainly don’t plan to work in professional services indefinitely. Partner at a Big 4 firm is not on the cards for me. I’m simply treating my relationship with my firm as an ongoing transaction - as long as I feel that what I’m taking from the firm is close enough in value to what they’re getting from me in terms of effort, it’s a beneficial relationship. Once that balance starts to shift in favour of the firm (and it will, eventually) then I’ll know the time is right to leave.

Fortunately, as I’ve written about before, that’s perfectly okay with most firms. They’re not built for everyone to make partner. Their business model is to use you at your best for as long as it’s cost-effective. As long as your model is to use them for absolutely every inch of career progression and personal development that you can get, you’ll find that the value proposition is not nearly as out of balance as many of us might think.

The benefits I've listed above might resonate with you, or they might not. If you don’t see value in these points, and there is no other value that you do get beyond a salary, then maybe the scales aren’t balanced.

If you’re early on in your career in professional services, keep asking yourself the question. Are you taking as much from your firm as they’re taking from you? If not, how are you going to tip the scales in your favour?

If you’re anything like me, a young professional working in a globally-recognised field, you’ve probably thought about uprooting your life and moving to a new country. With travel and broadening cultural horizons front of mind, moving overseas with work is a tantalising option. But there’s something that often keeps us from taking that leap of faith: fear.

We fear failure. We fear not being able to make friends or fit in. We fear the unknown.

I have been fortunate enough to live on 3 different continents in the last 4 years, with varying degrees of fulfilment and enjoyment. I now find myself in Australia and can honestly say I’m feeling well and truly settled in under a year. During my travels I’ve learned a few tactics which have helped me settle quicker, make friends faster, and which leave me feeling very content with my choice to make the move.

Ironically, I’m writing this with the pandemic-ridden globe decidedly unfit for travel. But we have to believe at some point the planet will be open for business (and travel) again, right?
In the event that it is right, and that you are considering a move internationally, here are the things I’ve learned which can help you get the most out of your new home.

1. Become a yes-(wo)man

Say “yes” to everything. Well, everything that’s not going to get you deported, at least.

I cannot stress this enough. It’s probably the single most important mindset you can adopt when you move into a new place. Take every opportunity you can to join in. By virtue of your new job and new home, you’ll be meeting a lot of people. I’ve found people typically are very welcoming when we give them the chance and show that we’re open to it. The second we say “no” to an invite, we’re (intentionally or not) signaling that we don’t want new friends. Just as you fear rejection, the person who’s just spontaneously invited you to lunch probably wasn’t planning on being rejected today either. They’re unlikely to try again.

Take every chance to grab a coffee with someone new, go for lunch, join in on team events, etc. Soon, the coffees can turn into weekends away, parties, and other fun; all another step closer to feeling settled and happy in your new home.

2. Be patient

Think about your current circle of close friends; the ones you meet up with most weekends. Did you meet them all in a week? A month? A year, even? I’d guess no! So why are you expecting a stream of friends dying to hang out with you when you’ve barely learned how to pronounce the name of the suburb you live in?

It takes time to build close relationships. It takes focus and attention on developing friendships from both sides.

Once I reminded myself of this, and the fact that not everyone you meet in life is destined to be your best friend, I was all of a sudden a lot more content with my social circle at an earlier stage. I also became a lot more comfortable in my own company. The stress of needing to make friends now was replaced with an “all in good time” mindset.

Each day, I try to focus on the interactions themselves. I want to live in the moment and enjoy the conversation, learn something new about someone or share a cool experience together. With enough positive interactions, friends tend to present themselves.

Give it a chance. You’re creating roots in an entirely new place.
Patience not your strong suit? I guess there is always Tinder.

3. Make the first move

Remember, you’re the new person on the block. Others have already got established social circles, so there’s less incentive for them to put themselves out there at first.
Sure, while we can all dream of the day we’re in a room full of people, slinging witty banter, while moonwalking through the crowd who are queuing up to be our friends (no? Just me?) that’s simply not realistic. We’re not all extroverts and moving to a new place as an introvert almost certainly makes it significantly more difficult to break into social circles.

My advice: try your absolute best to put yourself out there. You have to show people you are there to make new friends. If you’re an introvert or feeling anxious, focus on the one-on-one interactions and start small. Ask someone to grab a coffee during the day and have a quick chat. Grab lunch with someone you’ve met. Invite someone for a game of tennis (or whatever your game is).

Your invite is very likely to be returned at some point. When this happens, refer to 1 above. On the off chance your invite gets rejected (and my experience is that this hardly ever happens when you’re the newbie on the block) refer to 2 above.

If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

It helps if you have hobbies

In implementing the above, I’ve certainly been helped by the fact that I can play quite a few sports. I’m by no means an extreme athlete but do tend to have good enough coordination to participate. I’ve been able to join a squash club, build new friendships through golf and tennis, and hope to join in on cricket at some point in time too! All of this makes me feel a lot more a part of the community.

If you don’t play sport, it’s likely you do have other hobbies. Whether you’re a gamer, artist, musician, self-proclaimed beer pong champion or anything in between, there’s most definitely a community with similar interests out there waiting to meet you. Find out where they are and get involved! At least you’ll have something to talk about.

Of course, it is possible to build a network and make new friends without any significant hobbies, but I’ve found that my efforts seem to be propelled by the fact that I am able to get involved in these sorts of activities.

Enjoy the process

Half the fun of moving to a new place is the fact that it’s all different. Sure, it’s scary as all hell, but I believe it’s one of the best experiences a human can have in life. Figuring out the quirks of a new place, learning about new cultures, forming new habits, trying different things, and getting out of the rut you’ve been living in for the last few years. You find out a lot about yourself when you’re starting with a clean slate. What a thrill!

If you’re thinking about moving internationally, or even doing a short-term secondment, make a point of enjoying the process instead of being fixated on what you think the endgame is. The beauty of moving is not knowing what the endgame is. Be 100% present for each interaction, each wrong turn, each missed train and each time you have to navigate a language barrier. I promise your experience will be so much richer for it.

Sure, I’d battled my way through projects at university with the standard set of group work headaches, and had no problem answering that classic “describe one time where you worked with a team to overcome a problem” interview question.  But I had never stopped to consider the fact that the modern-day work environment for many young professionals is centered around teamwork, and what exactly that would mean for someone like me. 

Cut to a few weeks into my first job at an auditing firm, and the harsh realisation that this environment was probably the most draining scenario imaginable to the reserved-and-quiet me; one where every day seemed booby-trapped with anxiety-inducing meetings, calls, and catch-ups. 8 (minimum) hours a day of being constantly switched on all while having to be in near-constant communication with... other people.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way

Any article that even mentions the word ‘introvert’ will, inevitably, emphasise the necessity of making time for yourself to recharge. This is because it is true. Doing this - which previously felt like something so simple and self-explanatory - became a lot easier said than done when I first started working. 

All of a sudden, deadlines became more important than that me-time. Weekends were filled with socialising in attempts to make friends after moving to a new city. Time alone where I wasn’t working, or panicking about work, was scarce. The result, of course, is that I was left missing the foundation of what I know makes me effective and functional. Instead, I became even more overwhelmed by an environment that was daunting to begin with.

An important first step in surviving the world of daily teamwork is remembering that we need time off, time to ourselves to reboot. And prioritising this. Structure time into your day or week that is non-negotiably for you to do the things you do to unwind and recharge, and your work life will thank you for it. It’s okay to be flexible on when this happens, just as long as it isn’t being forgotten about altogether.

Use your unique skill set and embrace your limitations

Introverts often get a bad rap and, to be honest, I get it. Quietness is usually mistaken for being standoffish or painfully shy; reticence for a sign that you are unwilling to participate, or worse, incapable. Not everyone is like us. While you may be highly self-aware of your thoughts and feelings, as well as others’ – our teammates and managers may not be. Using our unique attributes wisely can help us navigate team situations a lot more effectively, if we know how to do it:

- Capitalise on one-on-one interactions

Find times during the day to connect with your teammates individually, or make a point of updating your manager regularly with where you’re at. Keeping people in the loop one-on-one means that when it comes to big meetings or discussions, more of the team will be aware of what you’ve been up to, and often this will take some of the pressure off of you. They’ll also begin to learn when and how you’re more comfortable communicating, and use this to the team’s advantage. 

- See things that others miss

While introverts’ tendencies to spend time thinking and structuring those thoughts instead of speaking straight away is often seen as a limitation, it can be very valuable on a team. Odds are you’ll pick up points that the quick-speakers may miss, or that extra moment’s thought could give rise to an issue no-one else had considered. Don’t forget to mention them, even if it’s after a meeting; better late than never!

- Fake it ‘til you make it

The misconception that all introverts are shy, withdrawn, and lack confidence is pretty common. Often, these traits only present when we are feeling drained, or anxious about how people are perceiving us. On those days, look to this article for inspiration on how to get through it (or just face being asked if you’re grumpy/sad/angry for the 12^th time).

Don’t run away

It’s easy, as an introvert on a team, to search for ways to find time alone during the day. It’s tempting to find your own room, a quieter part of the office, or even just put your headphones in to drown out some of the noise. Don’t.
This is the most challenging piece of advice I was ever given, but I’ve come to realise that it’s probably the most important to get right.

Regardless of how we feel about it, communication and connection are vital to the way in which we operate on a team and, ultimately, to our success in our workplace. As a sign of the times, we as young professionals are - now more than ever - expected to communicate, collaborate and work with people to succeed.

And while removing ourselves from the team may feel necessary to avoid feeling drained or overwhelmed by our extroverted counterparts’ seemingly incessant chatting, introverts need to hold off on the isolation – at least for most of the day. Sometimes, we’ll need to force ourselves to be engaged.

Pulling yourself away from the team may provide the relief you’re looking for, but you could miss out on important discussions, where you could gain useful understanding or - even better - add valuable insights. Skipping the office social may mean you get an extra hour to yourself on a Friday afternoon, but that you miss out on the chance to connect with potential mentors, or peers with similar interests.

I’m not saying it’s easy. We will always need our space, but when it comes to our jobs no man (or woman) is an island. Enthusiastic and intentional interaction is crucial for success. There are no easy answers. When you feel like there’s nothing left in the tank, it’s all about finding the line between taking a minute and withdrawing altogether; and then keeping ourselves on the right side of that line.

The important thing to remember is that even though a teamwork environment may feel like the last place you’d want to be on some days, it is also a place that can provide invaluable opportunity to show everyone (yourself included) what you bring to the table. 

All you have to do is find what it takes to stick up your hand and be counted.

Know any introverts who would love this post? Please share it with them to help Trench Life and its authors reach new readers!

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Over the last few years, I’ve found myself cautioning those who have left our office in search of something better. “Be careful,” I catch myself telling those who’ve voiced their intentions to leave, “the grass is not always greener on the other side.”

Ironically, I write this with one foot out of the door of the firm that took me in as a pimple-faced high school student – and for which I’ve been working for the last 6 years – in search of my own greener pastures. As I’m writing this, I am less than a month out from a one-way plane trip to Melbourne, Australia. 

“Be careful, the grass is not greener on the other side” the voice of trepidation threatens from well within my comfort zone. “You’re gonna get eaten by one of those massive dragon things” a mate of mine jests. 
Monitor lizards 1:0 Mark’s confidence in the impending move. 

Despite the anxiety and threat of an untimely end by the hand (claws? jaws?) of one of Australia’s many beasts, there is an an overwhelming sense of relief and excitement that has built up within me. A chance to see more of the world; an opportunity to learn about new cultures and meet new friends. Knowing a grand total of about 3 people in Australia, this is truly a clean slate for me, something which I am very fortunate to experience; not many people get this option in a lifetime. 

Moving for the right reasons

Whether this turns out to be justified or not, I take solace in the fact that I am making a move for what I believe to be the “right” reasons. The decision to leave was borne not out of frustration nor despair (as is often the case in a professional services environment) but rather out of a place of comfort and intrigue.  
Not that working within a big-four audit firm has been without its fair share of frustration, but I walk away content in the fact that I was able to find (and create) my own little niches – avenues in which I could practice and develop the activities and skills I was most passionate about while still contributing to the core business. For me, these niches revolved around training and coaching our people, as well as finding ways in which to bring a firm full of tired professionals together to relax and enjoy each other’s company, even during the busiest of busy seasons.

There were certainly times during which was I so overwhelmed/angry and swore to myself I’d resign the next day. There were times when I couldn’t comprehend why on earth I’d signed up for this in the first place. 
Instead, I am leaving my role in South Africa at a time when I feel more comfortable doing my job than I ever have. I leave knowing 80% of our office on a first-name basis. I leave without any serious qualms and feeling extremely proud of the impact I believe I have been able to make. I leave the firm which took me from braces to boardrooms, leaving me with a smile on my face and many true friends, mentors and experiences richer. 

Are you considering leaving your job?

For me, it’s time to push myself out of my comfort zone once again. The stubborn, competitive goat within me wants to prove that I can start fresh and Excel. (😏)
I know there are many of you who may also be considering the search for greener grass. My advice in this respect: 

• Never make a decision to leave from a place of anger. If you’re wanting a change, write your resignation letter and sit on it for a week before sending it. Moments (and days) of frustration are commonplace in a stressful environment. 

• Remember that our experience at work is often shaped by our immediate superiors. (As the saying goes, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.) Understand where your frustration lies and whether there are ways to reduce this. Remember also that you are likely also somebody else’s immediate superior and that your words and actions may be shaping their working experience right now.

• Know that every job has parts that we don’t enjoy. Find a role where you can practice the things you are passionate about, alongside the bread & butter work. It doesn’t always have to be glamorous. 

• Know that every job likely has people that we don’t enjoy. Do your best to spend more time with those you do get along with. Also do your best not to be someone others don’t enjoy. 

• If you do decide to leave, never burn bridges. You never know when you may come to rely on those people in future. 

Last, but not least, don’t be afraid to leave. The beauty of a professional services environment (and many other jobs) is that it’s not built for everyone to be there forever. There is tacit understanding that most of us will be there for a relatively short term, and that’s okay. If your time has come to go in search of something new, do so confidently, knowing that you’ve contributed all you can and added value to the business which you’re leaving. Do so having built an invaluable network and gathered experience & skills which will work in your favour in future. 

I firmly believe that if we give 120% wherever we are, we’ll find things to enjoy about the role and have a rich and fulfilling experience. 

Remember always: The grass is greenest where it is watered. 

Update: Who would have known what 2020 would bring! Despite all the COVID-19 drama it has been refreshing to be pushed out of my comfort zone again! I’ve spent the last 6 months making new friends, learning a whole lot more and finding a work-life balance that I could never quite get right back in South Africa. This means I got to start Trench Life and do a whole lot more writing than I could before. Looks like the grass was greener after all.

Thinking of making a big move? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Please share this post with your friends and colleagues who are considering a change.

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Whether you’re a young attorney, auditor, consultant, or anything in between, you’ll be all too familiar with having regular performance reviews. Sometimes these performance reviews are done in the form of post-engagement feedback. Sometimes they’re done periodically through the year. In many firms, your manager rates your performance on the job as a number. (E.g. Out of 5)

There’s absolutely nothing worse than feeling like you performed well on an engagement, only to have your manager/team leader dish you out a number that not only is worse than you were hoping for, but also that doesn’t necessarily come with any constructive qualitative feedback. We’ve all been there...

“F*** the system.”
“This is bullshit.”
“My manager hates me.”

Seem familiar?

So what happens next? Maybe you resign yourself to a career full of poor performance reviews and blame the rampant favouritism in your organisation. Perhaps you let pre-feedback anxiety get the better of you. Or you might quit your job, start a vegan food truck business, and vow never to work for The Man again.

What if you could stack the deck in your favour instead? What if you could learn how to take the subjectivity out of performance reviews?

The good news? You can.

Take the subjectivity out of performance reviews

In my time in professional services, I’ve realised there are 5 critical elements I’d need to get right if I want to get the ratings I deserve.

1. Understand the performance framework at your firm

If you work for any sizeable professional services firm, guaranteed there is already a framework in place against which on-the-job performance is measured. In this framework, you would expect to see performance criteria for each job grade that sets out what the expectations are as well as how high performers might exceed those expectations.

Understanding this framework is essential. If you’re a senior associate and you don’t know what your firm expects of a senior associate, then how will you ever know if you’re performing well?

Enhance your understanding of the performance framework and performance review process at your organisation by asking your manager/coach/team leader some important questions to understand exactly how the firm will rate you on each job/for each period. Good questions might include:

• “What role will my feedback for each job/engagement play in the overall moderation and remuneration review process?”

• “Are there any KPIs that I need to meet or characteristics that I need to display in order to be considered high performing?”

• What is the process if I disagree with performance feedback given?

• What are the indicators of a high performer at my job grade? Are these in writing?

If your firm doesn’t have a written policy, it is absolutely critical that the first question you ask your employer is “how will my performance be measured?”

2. Set upfront objectives with your reviewer

Once you’ve understood how your performance should be measured, the next step is to make sure the person who will be providing your performance feedback is on the same page. This is because your reviewer may have a different interpretation of the performance framework than you. Even worse (and, unfortunately, very often) they may not even be basing their ratings and feedback on the framework, but purely based on gut feeling.

No matter what, you do not want your performance review done based on someone’s gut feeling and/or which way the wind is blowing today. The key to making sure this doesn’t happen in 98% of cases, is to have an objective-setting discussion with your reviewer before your start the piece of work/period on which you’re going to be rated.

During this conversation, you want to clarify what your reviewer expects of you going into the engagement. Ask simple questions such as:

• “Hey, just before we get started, could you give me an idea of what ’a job well done’ looks like for you in this situation?”

• “Regarding my performance on this job, what are the things that matter most to you?

• “I’m trying my best to be a high performer/increase my ratings. Could we agree on what things I’d need to be doing in order to be rated X on this job?”

Use the answers to these questions to write down a few key objectives for you in order to get the performance rating you want and agree these with your reviewer.

Asking these questions does two things. Firstly, it creates a reference point for both you and the reviewer. Ideally, this reference point aligns well with your firm’s performance framework. (If it doesn’t, be sure to ask why not.)
Secondly, it puts your performance front of mind for the reviewer. I firmly believe that if I know someone expects to be a high performer, I’m less inclined to rate you differently without clear cause. You’re stacking the deck in your favour!

3. Meet the objectives you set

The title of this post refers to the performance ratings you deserve. It is not a hack to get you amazing performance reviews without any effort on your part.

This one’s all on you and it doesn’t require a lot of explaining. Once you’ve set objectives, make sure you take every opportunity to deliver on them. After all, these objectives are what you’re going to be measured against.

4. Self-reflect

Once you’ve gotten through the job, it is imperative that you spend some time self-assessing your performance on the job. Revisit the objectives you set; did you meet them? This is where you need to be extremely honest with yourself because it’s going to play a critical role in the next step.

What are you particularly proud of regarding your performance on the job/for the period? What could you do better if you had to do it all again? Referring back to the indicators of what’s expected of someone at your level, how did you stack up against these? Did you display any indicators of performance at the grade above you? If you were doing the rating, what would score yourself?

Make your own notes, and then set up the next step.

5. Debrief with your performance reviewer

Once you’ve understood your own performance, it’s time to go back to your reviewer and have a debrief meeting. Not an email, not an IM conversation, not a phone call. A face-to-face discussion.

Ideally, they’ll ask you how you thought you performed. Even if they don’t, make sure you lead the conversation. This is your time to shine! Get the conversation moving with an appropriate structure:

• Reflect on the objectives you set together: “Thanks for your time. If you don’t mind, I just wanted to go back to the objectives we set at the beginning and chat through each of them”

• Be sure to demonstrate your epic self-awareness by highlighting things you picked up in your self-assessment first: “I did some self-reflecting and in terms of these objectives I was particularly proud of the way I... although, if I’m being honest with myself, I could probably have done... better.”

• Then, get your reviewer’s input: “Did you notice anything else I haven’t mentioned? How do you feel about the way I performed against this objective?”

• Translate the feedback into performance ratings: “Great, thank you for your feedback! Could you confirm how this will look from a performance rating perspective, considering how I’ve performed against the objectives we set?”

If you can have a structured conversation like the above, I’d be willing to bet my bottom dollar that the performance rating you receive is going to be the one you deserve based on your performance. What’s more, you and your reviewer will be far more likely to agree on the outcome!

Let me let you in on a secret: if I’m ever torn between two ratings/grades when reviewing the performance particular person, I go back and ask myself “could they identify their own weaknesses?” If the answer is yes, it suggests to me that they’re mature enough to be self-aware and that normally tips the scales in their favour. I know, for a fact, this is the way a lot of managers and team leaders operate when it comes to performance discussions.

For this reason, you want to make sure you’re communicating very honestly about your own perceived performance. It never helps to try and pretend like you didn’t do anything wrong. There’s almost always something we could have done better. Let the one to bring it up be you.

Go ahead and stack the deck in your favour

As with much of the advice I've given juniors in my time, the crux of all of this is how you communicate. Without proper, proactive communication, you’re gambling blindly when it comes to performance reviews.

You can increase your odds significantly by making sure you and your reviewer are aligned on expectations. You can get the dealer on your side by reminding your reviewer that you care about your performance and want to do well. And you can hit the performance rating jackpot by achieving the objectives you set and being self-aware enough to identify where you may have fallen short.

Performance reviews are inherently subjective and can often feel like a gamble, but you can sure as hell stack the deck in your favour.

If you practice the above 5 steps religiously, you’ll be getting the performance ratings you deserve in no time.

How’ve you gone about getting the recognition you’ve worked so hard for in your work environment? Leave a comment for others to learn from your experience.

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Without taking anything away from the well earned efforts of those who passed, I couldn’t help but empathise with the 43% of people who didn’t pass this time around. I could almost feel the stabbing disappointment, despair and even embarrassment that each of these people must have felt; the wound growing deeper with every new celebratory, deity-thanking post from a friend. 

For those who don’t know, the Assessment of Professional Competence (APC) is probably the toughest exam anybody will write en route to qualifying as a Chartered Accountant in South Africa; an 8-hour test of competence, ethics, communication skills and performing under pressure. It is also the final hurdle that needs to be passed in order to qualify after what is typically a 7-8 year journey. Understandably, we in the profession get quite worked up about it. 

So this post is a shout-out to everyone this year who didn’t quite make it, in the APC or any other exam recently. By now you will have had time to digest and will likely have experienced everyone awkwardly avoiding the topic when speaking to you, or will have heard, “shame, it’s not the end of the world,” or “there’s no shame in failing that exam” a thousand times over. 

I’m not here to tell you how to feel. This achievement means so much to you and if you feel shame or embarrassment, that's okay; it's perfectly natural. It’s what you do from here on out that will define you and really test your character. I would just caution you to reign in the tendency to convince yourself that everyone else is mocking you or thinks anything less of you now that you've failed an exam. I can guarantee you that anyone who understands the challenges that this exam presents and the blood, sweat and tears that you put into preparing for it is purely saddened that you couldn't join the hordes of celebratory posts on February 14th... not this year at least. Anyone who judges you by the outcome of one day of work - over years of excellent performance and commitment - is clearly disillusioned.

Where to from here?

Failing this exam only means you will try again next year, one year more experienced and with all the learnings from your previous attempt taken on board. Over the coming months, take the time to understand where you went wrong in last year's test and put the steps in place to make sure you don't make those same mistakes next time. The amount of time you need to commit to correcting this process is unique to you. Trust yourself as a young professional to learn from your mistakes and knock it out of the park next time.

Let’s acknowledge for a second that the APC was a bloody tough ask this year. Every second person didn’t pass, literally. Sure, you didn't end up on the right side of the coin toss this time round, and that's okay. Everyone has experienced failure of some sort in their lives, including the most respected and lauded entrepreneurs and sportsmen who have since become household names (Bill Gates, anyone?). It's always what you do next that matters. Nobody will remember the fact that you failed an exam once.

Don’t let your entire career be defined by 8 hours in which you made one or two mistakes. 

You've got this.

Credit where credit's due

This post was originally posted on the author's LinkedIn account and has been tailored for you. The post is based on a South African Chartered accountant exam, but applies to any of you who've been bested by an exam recently.

Do you have a great story of perseverance during your journey to qualification, or turning it around after failing an exam? Share your story in the comments.

Otherwise, please share with those who you feel need to read this today.

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